I have been on the dating scene for almost two years. Boy oh boy have I had some experiences! A few things I have found from my grand personal social experiment include christian men don’t want to date single moms, and the same men who hit on me also hit on my best friend. I also have realized that online dating is a joke… a huge disgusting, money pit joke. I have joined almost.. scratch that… I have joined ALL the websites! I have been on evow, okcupid, eharmony, match, plenty of fish, singleparentmeet, and christianmingle. I have honestly given them my good ol’ college try.
Unfortunately, most of the same men are all on the same websites. I have realized that these christian men really don’t want to take on an “instant family” actually most of the employed and educated men that I’m legitimately attracted to aren’t interested in taking on the immediate family. I don’t really know why… they say they want kids but they don’t want kids from someone else. I understand, typically the men who understand the responsibility and commitment that kids take are the ones who know they aren’t ready for that. I can’t blame them… parenthood is exhausting and very time consuming its ok though… someday maybe someone out there will be willing to venture into this crazy life with me.
I think the major problem here is that these men, not all but many, have waited to have sex until marriage. I think they 1. intimidated by a non-virgin woman and 2. They don’t want sexy time being interrupted by little Johnny busting in. I understand that these men are entitled to their preference just as I am entitled to feel like I deserve to be with a man who at least has an associate’s degree or a technical/skill/trade school certification. I spent four years kicking my butt in college and now anther 3-4 years of studying naturopathy… excuse me if I want someone who can relate to the work of school.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m only lamenting the fact that it seems like pro-family, christian men are few and very far between. I’m not hating on the male gender as a whole. I understand that I am looking for a needle in a hay stack and that is why I am building my life in such a way that I won’t need a man to support me and if a man decides to come into my life who fits like a puzzle piece then great! If not well, at least I have my health and a great little kid who I get to watch grow up. I am, however, so done with online dating. Maybe when I’m in my 30s and 40s when more people my age are divorced and have kiddos themselves I will meet someone but as for now I am the odd woman out and it makes meeting people pretty complicated.
Peace, love, and parachutes!